Saturday morning, I woke up and started my morning routine. Decided today will be a self-love type of day. Made banana pancakes and had my coffee. Watched Netflix as laundry was on the washer/dryer. Cleaned my bathroom. Organized my room. Sometimes organizing my space helps me organize my thoughts. All seemed fine and well. Painted my toes, still watching Netflix. Cooked lunch, ate. Decided it would be a good thing to confine myself in the bath tub for a long relaxing me time. And so I preppared a bubble bath and had my favorite incense was burning. Before I jumped in the tub I made a mistake: locked the door behind me. I was having a pleasant time, no electronics in the room and just by candle light… otherwise it would be pitch black in my tiny bathroom. And so, on a mind drift I stared at one of my triggers, without realizing I slipped into a dangerous mind space which as I was unintentionally giving myself exposure to the trigger. And so, my trigger looked back. A dark shadow, dark eyes, dark big grin stared at me from the mirror and I froze. I froze in my tub, naked, and vulnerable. And I just tried to close my eyes and move my arms and felt like all my weight was on my chest. It’s a fucking scary feeling when you feel like you’re sinking in your own fucking tub. And then…. a text message came thru and my ringtone pushed me out of that mindset as I had to get up to check the phone. It was a text from Lotus, somehow Lotus and Waya both bring me back to Light without realizing all of what they do for me. They mean more to me that what words can express.